Brawlers are Psychotic
by WonderholicXx
Summary: Dan isn't crazy – he's an aeroplane! Choo choo! Why in Gawd's name would Runo date an aeroplane! Mira has enough to worry about what with Naga kidnapping her and all of her crazy friends! DanRuno AceMira SpectraGus Volt!Bashing The cake is NOT a lie...


I'm going to begin this story by ignoring Volt! Hey, Volt – I'm ignoring you!

Didn't know whether this should be another story or continuation of previous. Decided on separate story 'cause it takes itself a little more seriously and Spectra killed Naga in the last story.

* * *

…**..IN WHICH MIRA IS THE STRAIGHT MAN!**

"Oh come, Mira, it's not that bad! You look really pretty!" an enthusiastic Julie clapped her hands together with ecstasy, beaming upon the red haired Vestal.

"Julie…I-I-I can't believe you're making me wear this!" A blush rose to Mira's cheeks as she anxiously tugged at the hem of her much too short dress. The garment was a soft baby pink, with an intricate swirling pattern and delicate black frills and laces. However, the fact that it barely covered her crotched and was teamed with a pair of lacy black stockings just screamed cheap hooker – something Mira was displeased about.

"Awh, but it suits you, Mira!" Julie giggled. "I mean, it clashes a little with your hair but pink is just so darling! I've never seen you wear something girly before – doesn't it suit her guys? Guys?"

"Sure…" Dan agreed monotonously, his eyes not leaving Mira's legs.

"Okay…" nodded Shun, he too focusing intently on the Vestal's lower body.

"…." Ace was completely speechless. He'd always known Mira was attractive – but he had no idea she was this smokin' hot!

"And here was me thinking I was gonna have to beat puberty into you…" sighed Runo, clipping Dan on the ear. "You look awesome, Mira." The bluenette agreed.

Mira, on the other hand, was not convinced.

"This couldn't possibly get any worse!" she cringed, her face a deep scarlet.

Just then Spectra and Gus entered the room.

"Heeeeey, it's the outfit I make Gus wear when I'm feeling raunchy!" Spectra chirped, as Mira died inside.

"Master Spectra, please!… Later…" Gus blushed.

"HOW THE HECK DID YOU GUYS GET IN HERE?" Marucho exclaimed.

"Y'know, I'm pretty sure I have that outfit…" Shun mumbled to Ace, who still couldn't take in anything that was going in around him.

Spectra, meanwhile, picked up the remote and switched on Marucho's TV.

BREAKING NEWS!

-Civilians everywhere are in panic as the strange dragon creature that tried to take over our world several years previous has returned!-

Footage of none other than Naga parading loose around the city flashed on screen, as the Brawlers, Resistance and ex Vexos looked on in terror.

-Just what is it that this creature wants?-

"I want world domination! I want the world to cower at my feet! I want humans everywhere to tremble when they hear my name! I want to beat Defenders of the Core – that game is freaking hard! I want it to stop bloody snowing outside! I want your mother! But most of all – I want the Bakugan Battle Brawlers!" hissed Naga.

-we have tried to make a peace offering of the latest Naruto manga and some salt water taffy – but our messenger just got eaten. Please, Bakugan Battle Brawlers! You must help us!-

Spectra switched the TV off. Silence…

"…So, anyone up for an arm wrestle?" Ace offered.

"What are we gonna do?" Dan finally exploded to Mira, who had just returned from changing out of the ridiculous dress.

"I don't know Dan – we have to stop Naga, that's for sure!" the ginger pondered as Ace and Spectra arm-wrestled in the background. "But first… in order to gain Spectra's trust… Ace has gotta win this!"

"Please, there's no way Ace will win!" Dan scoffed, as the teal haired Vestal struggled against Spectra's grip.

"_**I**_ can help Ace win~" sang Julie.

"How? Then do it!" Mira urged.

Julie cleared her throat.

"Hey guys – look! Ace is making his orgasm face!"

From there, Ace managed to pin down Spectra – who was laughing too hard to care.

"Thank you, Julie…" he mumbled with a blush.

BANG!

The roof of the room was suddenly blown off with a loud crash, and Naga surveyed the Brawlers with a gleam in his eye.

"Hello little Brawlers – I see you!" he screeched, his voice dripping with malice. "And – hey, it's another Super Saiyan!" he laughed.

Spectra growled. "Not funny…"

"How about we go for a little riiiiiide!" With that, Naga slammed into the building and a strong gust of wind lifted the Brawlers onto his back.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO LET US DOWN YOU CRAZY FOOL!"

"Dan, calm down." The always cool as a cucumber Shun sighed.

"CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN? HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM - HEY, I CAN SEE MY HOUSE FROM HERE!"

"Somebody kick him off, please…" Shun groaned.

As Naga soared higher and higher, the Brawlers hung on for dear life. Mira clenched her fists and shut her eyes in fear as the wind whipped through her hair.

Suddenly a black portal opened up in front of them and Naga flung them off his back with relish.

"Have fun in the darkness abyss, Brawlers! Hope you don't get eaten by fire breathing pigmonkeys, or shit like that!" laughed Naga, as the Brawlers fell to their doom.

And suddenly, Mira felt something wash over her – her whole body shook as she braced herself for a feeling of delirious happiness. A million images swam around in her head, voices rang in her ears and suddenly it was over as soon as it had begun. Despite it lasting but a few seconds, Mira deduced something horrible had just happened.

Quickly scrambling to her feet, she did a head count – everyone was there. Dan, Runo, Shun, Julie, Marucho, Baron, Ace, Spectra and Gus were all shaky but in tact and perfectly fine. Or…

…or _**were**_ they?

"Hey, guys? You okay?" Mira asked with concern.

"Peachy." snapped Shun, spitting dirt out of his mouth. "I have always wanted to know what it's like to go through a freaking washing machine!"

"Oh…kay."

Dan was blinking like a retard, Runo appeared to be sharpening a knife, Julie eyes had glazed over while Shun's were twitching, Baron was hugging himself and rocking back and forth, Ace was talking to himself, Gus was brushing his hair and Spectra… where was Spectra?

"Uh… Spectra?"

She approached her brother cautiously – he had left the rest of the group to stand conspicuously by himself with his back turned, all the while mumbling in a low voice.

"Sp-Spectra?"

"WHAT? WOMAN!" he whipped around angrily, catching her off guard.

"Are- are you okay?"

"Okay? OKAY? Incase you haven't noticed we've just been KIDNAPPED by a giant DRAGON and tossed into the freaking SHADOW REALM – oh my life is flashing before my eyes-" the demented Vestal buried his head in his hands and moaned.

"I couldn't have been warned about this – this –"

"Okay, I know we weren't expecting this but-"

"Expecting this? EXPECTING THIS? _**I**_ WASN'T EXPECTING TO FIND A RACOON IN MY REFRIDGERATOR BUT WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR THERE IT WAS ALL DEAD AND FROZEN AND SHIT LIKE THAT! MIRA THERE ARE SOME THINGS IN THIS WORLD THAT MAKE SENSE - AND SOME THAT DON'T!" Spectra paused to catch his breath, panting a little.

Mira stared at him.

"Are you feeling alright-"

"Yea yea yea, never mind I'm fine-" he brushed her away impatiently. "Stop getting so batshit insane-"

"I wasn't-"

"GUS! Tell me you're okay?" Spectra hurridly embraced the younger boy, whose eyes bulged with the sudden squeeze, but quickly relaxed into Spectra's arms, a slavish expression on his face.

With that Mira gave a sigh of relief. Everything was perfectly normal… and then an enormous entity towered before her – it looked like a giant Buddha on a cloud but that couldn't be the case…

"Greetings…" it hummed.

"Um…hello…where are we?"

"You are in the Distortion World."

"Okay…um-"

"I WILL GRANT YOU ONE WISH!"

"…"

Mira glanced around her.

"Okay-"

"LICKITUNG! I WISH FOR A LICKITUNG! I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED A LICKITUNG!" screeched Dan.

"Wait! Dan-"

And like that a Lickitung appeared and licked Mira's face. She stood there, speechless. The Lickitung started to lick everyone in turn – Shun, Ace, Julie, Dan-

"BLAAAAH! I LICKS BAAAACK!" cried Dan, licking the Lickitung.

**I'm getting board of this – NOW SHUN IS THE STRAIGHT MAN!**

"HOW WILL WE POSSIBLY ESCAPE FROM THIS HORRIBLE WORLD?" Mira cried dramatically. "THERE IS NO FORESEEABLE FUTURE FOR US!"

"Hey, it's not so- awh forget it, this place is a hole…" Giratina sighed.

* * *

That night Joe was sitting in his apartment, watching the X Factor when a great deity appeared before him.

"WHEN YOU SAY THE NAME OF A POKEMON IT WILL APPEAR!"

"Okaaaaay… this is just a random selection buuuuuut… Lickitung!"

Suddenly, everyone collapsed in a heap on the floor in his living room.

Joe blinked.

"…Hey guys! You watchin' Glee last night?"

"Wait, we've just magically appeared in your living room and… you're not at all surprised by that?" Shun's eye twitched.

"…WOW, RUNO THAT SKIRT IS PRETTY!" Joe completely ignored Shun, who growled.

"MAAAAN, that was weird. Any chance of a soda, Joe?" Dan whistled.

"Dan – we've just been transported to another dimension and-"

"Y'know what? Soda would be greeeaat!" Ace was relieved.

"Will you guys take this seriously for a second?" Shun was getting more impatient. "Don't you find it at all strange that-"

"I don't have sode – BUT I GOT CAKE!" Joe cried, deliriously happy.

"WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME? WE'RE-"

"I'LL GO GET THE CAKE!" the blond skipped off merrily but quickly returned with the promised CAEK.

"NOW-"

"NO! NO ONE MAY HAVE CAKE!" Shun knocked the cake out of Joe's hands, fuming. "We've got to use your phone to call-"

"-THE CAKE STORE FOR MORE CAKE!" Joe pushed Shun out of the way and ran to the phone. Shun growled.

"Hands up who wants cake?" Joe sang and every hand went up, save for Shun's.

"I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER SO MY VOTE COUNTS FOR TEN PEOPLE!" cried Dan.

"I don't REALLY want cake but… I hate Kazami so…" Spectra shrugged.

**LATER – OVER THE **_**CAEK**_

"Shun, have some cake!" Julie offered; only to be met by a death glare from the ninja.

"NO! I DON'T WANT ANY DAMN CAKE!" Shun retreated to his 'emo corner' and sulked as everyone else enjoyed DELICIOUS CAEK. "I hope you all get FAT!" he mumbled.

**Shun's pretty much lost the plot so MIRA IS NOW THE STRAIGHT MAN! AGAIN!**

Mira was chewing her slice slowly, contemplating the odd taste when she uncovered an ear.

"Hey guys… this cake has dead people in it…"

"There you go again: nag nag nag!" Spectra snapped, feeding Gus pieces of cake.

Mira shrugged and looked over at Shun.

"Come on Shun – this cake is delicious!" Shun ignored her and continued reading Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World.

"So guys… I don't actually know everyone. Um, who the heck are you guys?" Joe asked the Vestals.

"We're aliens!" Baron exclaimed.

"Cool! But… you aren't blue…"

"And vampires don't sparkle." hissed Kaname Kuran, who was doing a jigsaw.

Ace stood up.

"I'm Ace Grit! I'm a Darkuss Brawler and I think sponsoring tigers is a stupid idea!"

"It's a grand idea!" hissed Shun from his corner.

"I hate Volt." He sat down. Gus was next up.

"I'm Gus Grav, no I will not tell you what shampoo I use and I hate everybody. Well, except Master Spectra…"

"I'm Baron! I really admire Master Dan and all of the Brawlers because they're just so amazing! I love brawling – maybe one day I'll be as good as they are! I hate Volt."

"This is Spectra Phantom, I'm a convicted felon, I've murdered several people, my goal is world domination/ genocide and I like stewed tomato. I, too, hate Volt."

"Umm…I'm Mira… I don't hate Volt…I don't hate anybody even though my life is pretty crappy right now because my father abandoned our family to create a machine that would destroy Bakugan everywhere – though things are better than when my mom was still alive; she used to beat me sometimes. Once she tied me to a chair and I almost got pneumonia. I do kinda hate King Zenoheld though – I think he pinched my ass once. Oh yeah – he's my brother." She pointed at Spectra.

Silence.

"GUS LET'S MAKE PASSIONATE MAN SEX IN THIS CORNER!" Spectra cried, shoving Shun out of the way and dragging Gus over to said corner.

"Master Spectra, I thought you'd never ask!… Can I be on top this time?"

"NO!"

"Yes, Master Spectra."

"Y'know, I'm starting to see the words 'apply head here' on that wall over there." Mira sighed.

"I'M NOT CRAZY – I'M AN AEROPLANE! WOO WOO!" Dan suddenly screamed.

"SCREW THIS! I'm going to be an Eco Warrior!" Joe cried, suddenly jumping out the window.

"Alright, I've had enough of this-" Volt appeared at the doorway, much to the shock of the Brawlers. "Now!" he pulled Spectra off of Gus and grabbed the latter tightly, pressing a scissors to his throat.

"This has just been one nonsensical plot twist after another! Now, you will all submit to my will! Or-" he glared at each and everyone of them as Gus whimpered in his grasp.

"Or – I'LL CUT OFF ALL OF GUS' HAIR!"

* * *

CLIFF – HANGERRRRR~

He wouldn't…

I'm Cafekko. I'm reasonably batshit insane, LM.C is awesome and I have no life. And I like reviews. And I hate Volt.

NEXT TIME: Will Volt cut off Gus' lovely beautiful long curly blue hair? WHO WILL BE THE STRAIGHT MAN? Will Shun EVER manage to find someone to sponsor a tiger? Will Naga achieve world domination?

In short: No, Ace, Maybe and Possibly. Subscribe anyway.


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